Posted in cell phones, digital parenting, online security, online tracking, parents and technology, teens and technology

Do You and Your Child Have ANY Digital Privacy?

New gadgets are great with new capabilities, advanced features, stellar communications, and exciting applications. Everything is perfect, right? Not really and especially not with the smart devices that children and adolescents carry.

As I work and play with my iPhone and iPad, the world seems pretty good. Yet, on the down side is my decreasing privacy. My two devices share a lot of my personal information with others — something I hardly ever think about when I am using the iPhone or iPad. Thinking, however, is a good idea, as is looking over a child’s Internet-connected devices and talking about what should be turned on and what should be turned off.

Continue reading “Do You and Your Child Have ANY Digital Privacy?”

Posted in acceptable use, digital citizenship, digital parenting, family conversations, parents and technology

Intention vs. Consequence: What Kids Don’t Understand

In the world of digital parenting, three words help adults understand how a child’s digital activities get out of hand. Using these words — magnification, intention, and consequence — in parent-child conversations can, over time, help everyone understand more about why digital problems occur.  

  • Magnification – If digital media is involved, mistakes, even those made by well-behaved and thoughtful kids, loom large and quickly become public. The magnification of a seemingly small problem often leads to embarrassment or even humiliation for everyone involved. In the digital world, private mistakes can evolve into magnified public ones.

 

  • Intention – While the world of pre-adolescents and adolescents can be rough and tumble on any day, unintended reactions to their digital activities often surprise kids. Most often a problem involves one student communicating with another, and if the initiator had only taken even moment to think over an impulsive action, the incident might not have occurred.

 

  • Consequence – If a digital problem becomes too public, too magnified, and too hurtful, consequences matter much more than anything a child intended to happen. From a young age, we teach children to say they are sorry when something goes wrong, but in the digital world, the degree of hurt and humiliation may mean that an apology is only the beginning of the recovery process.

Most adults remember a time when behavioral mistakes were more private. Rarely were our errors, even the big ones, known by more than a few people. The mechanisms for passing information from place to place, for broadcasting a problem to the world, were minimal. Times have changed.

This video below — Stop Think Connect — is a helpful resource for families with children in grades 4 – 7.

 
Posted in digital parenting, online safety, online security, parents and technology, privacy

Follow the Privacy Lives Blog

If you are as concerned about loss of privacy as I am, I encourage you to follow the Privacy Lives blog. Publisher Melissa Ngo reviews articles, government issues, children, the Constitution, and much more. Here’s a bit of what she has posted about the blog’s mission on her About page.

Maintain Privacy

In 1755, Benjamin Franklin wrote, “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” Centuries later, we face numerous attacks on our privacy and civil rights, ostensibly for national security. Phone calls are tapped, e-mails are read, and individuals are tracked by video surveillance. We’re told that if you’re not for these invasive surveillance tactics, then you’re with the terrorists. Privacy Lives rejects such fear mongering. This site will chronicle and analyze these attacks and various defenses against them to show that privacy lives on, despite this onslaught.

Some Interesting Links to Get You Started (but don’t stop with these)

Posted in acceptable use, cell phones, digital citizenship, digital parenting, parents and technology

Driving? Texting? Phoning?

Read a post from the Thrive blog at Children’s Hospital Boston. In R U Ready 2 Stop Txting, Lois Lee MD, MPH, links to statistics, discusses the new Massachusetts texting law that took effect September 30, 2010, and offers suggestions about digital era parenting.

Dr. Lee directly addresses parents about virtual connections while driving.

Most of us would never drink and drive in front of our kids, race other cars, or even start the engine without buckling up first. Why then would we set a bad example for our children by texting behind the wheel? Though they may deny it, we have a much greater influence over our teens’ behavior than they let on. If you practice safe driving, there’s a far better chance your teenager will as well. ‘Do as I say, not as I text’ isn’t just hypocritical, it’s dangerous.

Posted in acceptable use, cultural changes, digital citizenship, digital parenting, parents and technology

The Tragedy of Tyler Clementi

No words console a family when a child dies, especially a loss caused by cruel and bigoted peers who don’t comprehend digital world distinctions between right and terribly wrong. A much-loved boy, a gifted musician, a young man who made others smile and relax with beautiful music — and whose sexual identity was no one’s business but his own, even in the confusing milieu of a freshman college dorm — is dead.

For the rest of us — parents, teachers, religious leaders, and other adults — much can be said. Tyler Clementi’s suicide dramatically illustrates, yet again, the youth disconnect between privacy as we knew it in the past and the increasingly few layers that protect us today. With no clear definition of privacy, children, adolescents, and even young adults perceive few behavior boundaries –those lines in the sand that delineate the ethical from the unethical, the fun from the vicious. How many more children do we have to lose?

Whatever can we do?

Continue reading “The Tragedy of Tyler Clementi”

Posted in acceptable use, digital citizenship, digital parenting, online safety, parents and technology

Facebook Safety Page – Bookmark It

According to a short article  in School Library Journal and a Facebook blog post, the world’s largest social networking site now has a new safety page as well as an advisory committee of well-known online safety organizations. Both articles offer Facebook users a detailed guided tour of the new site where teens, parents, and educators can go for up-to-date information.

Users can navigate to safety information in several ways. A Facebook safety page looks just like any Facebook page with useful links and a wall with a fairly lively conversation. This page will also post important documents, educational materials, and safety initiatives. Continue reading “Facebook Safety Page – Bookmark It”

Posted in acceptable use, cell phones, digital citizenship, online safety, parents and technology

Pay Attention to Potential for Cyber-bullying Before it Starts

An article in today’s New York Times, Online Bullies Pull Schools into the Fray, describes the enormous difficulties that texting, e-mail, Facebook, and other unlimited online activities cause for Middle School students, their parents, and their schools. Take some time to read it and reflect.

My reflection leads me to think that while cyber-bullying is the immediate problem, the larger issue is the need to change the way parents and their children think about digital tools. While me must always address problems, it seems way too late to effectively change errant digital behavior in Middle School if students have not received years of training in the art of digital citizenship long before they arrive in sixth grade.

Behavior and digital behavior go hand-in-hand. Parents regularly address civil, polite, and respectful behavior from the moment a child arrives at his or her first play-group. Does digital behavior get the same parental attention? The moment a child sits at a computer or sees mom and dad working on e-mail, the citizenship lessons should extend to the digital world. If the conversation does not start until a child gets a phone that texts and takes pictures — an entertaining toy from perspective of the youngster — it is way to late.

Continue reading “Pay Attention to Potential for Cyber-bullying Before it Starts”